|Refrigerate after opening.|
Like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by my own logic, said member of the Third Reich takes SERIOUS issue when anyone in the office leaves anything in the shared refrigerator longer than 24 hours without properly labeling their food items with precise person name and food birth/death date attached via permanent marking devices. This is in fact SO GODDAMN IMPORTANT that in the past, when I've ignorantly and viciously left bottles of hot sauce just like, OUT and NOT IN THE FRIDGE, previously mentioned She-Wolf of the S.S. will place these bottles of spice and vinegar that require absolutely no refrigeration, within the confines of the shared office refrigerator for the sole purpose of leaving a passive aggressive college dorm-like note upon them that reads, "Who do these belong to?" in a tone I can only assume is fraught with panic and anxiety.
I initially responded to this act of war with tolerance and understanding, merely removing the panicked Post-it and marking each bottle with my namesake. The expiration was left out due to the fact it was currently typed already on each bottle. I feel this was a kind and fair gesture. A peace flag in a world of wrongs, plagued by insecurity and imagined limited space. Surely they will see that I meant no harm. I only wish to eat bland burritos at my desk in peace. Sadly, as of today, this truce was ignored.
|Look at this full ass freezer!! My bacon box is|
practically SUFFOCATING those bagel dogs!!!
Jesus Christ, how did I let this happen??!
Don't worry though. I got mine. When I opened the freezer this morning at my office intending to microwave up some strips of lies, I was promptly presented with a brightly colored threat.
|That's right. Bets are off. Gloves are gone.|
|Initially, that did say, "Please Don't Touch My Food," but I decided it's time to drop the act.|