Adventures At The Bridgetown Comedy Festival As Re-Told In Numeric Values!

Just got back from the Bridgetown Comedy Festival in Portland and Jesus Christ was it the best thing I've done since the last thing I did that was that awesome (which is not coming to mind at this moment).  If you're a comedian, a comedy fan or a regular person, DO IT NEXT YEAR.  In the meantime, here are my tallies from the festival!

People I saw puking into a trash can: 1
Amount of times I hit my mouth with a microphone: 1
Famous people I danced next to: 4
A stripper told me my Star Trek shirt was awesome: 1
Comics that used "hashtag" as a punchline: 4
Bad edible drug trips people I knew had: 3
Cocktails I ordered with room service: 1 

Awesome interactions with comedy idols: 5
Awkward interactions with comedy idols: 5
Times I beat another comic at Rival Schools: 6
Comedian used the phrase "Your baby is as big as a ramp.": 1
Slices of pizza I consumed: 19
Heckler yelled, "Tell a vegan joke!": 1

Singles I gave  to the dancers at Magic Gardens: 6
Donuts I ate: 2
Bacon cookies I had: 1/2
Money I spent when drunk comic book shopping: $40
Couples I saw that made out and then slow danced during brunch somewhere: 1
People smoking electric cigarettes indoors: 3
Amount of times I thought I'd meet Laura Kightlinger: 0
Amount of times I met Laura Kightlinger: 1
Nudity perpetuated by comedians: 3

Amount of times I got to sing along to a Kelly Clarkson song at full volume next to two of my comedy heroes: 1
Awesome people I met that I want to be friends with for life: INFINITY
Dick jokes that Gallagher told me while spinning around on a sign post: 1